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| there was a really large pile of dirty dishes in the sink, and i didn't really want to do them after a 13 hour shift at work, but they had been there for a while and were starting to make me feel gross. and guess what? we were out of dish soap. so i washed them with lever 2000. . . now my dishes are feeling replenished and re-hydrated, with the minerals they need to restore their moisture. sweet.
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| so i totally should have been sleeping about 2 hours ago, but i'm completely enchanted with the weather, and it's making me stay awake! it's about 42 degrees and drizzly, and i was so inspired (in an almost christmas-y sort of way) that i went to the store at 11:30pm to buy stuff to make pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, and opened all of the windows in our apartment indefinitely. oh it feels good. the cookies are good, too. maybe i need to stay here in this cold september breeze more than i need to go to bed.
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| we got kittens. (yes, kittens, plural) and they're so frickin' cute...a little calico girl named 'aisha', and a little tiger striped boy named 'mufasa' (that's a shout out to the amazing-ness of disney movies in the early 90's)...so far they've got mad skills in "mew"-ing, biting each other's ears, and chasing after this little feather toy thing we bought them. they make our apartment feel more like home (:
there they are. if you want to cuddle with them, feel free to visit.
my car was broken into 2 nights ago, which kind of sucks. i ended up with a shattered window, and minus a stereo, but it could have been worse. someone asked me if i feel violated, and i guess i do a little, but my stereo was a pretty impersonal thing, the bigger deal was that it was just a hassle: talking to the police, the insurance company, the glass company, etc., for endless hours. so many hoops. i wonder where my stereo is at this very moment? an elderly relative told me that "those people" will do anything to get drugs (referring to my break-in)...true, it's possible the stereo may have been exchanged as capital for elicit substances, i really don't know, but i'm wondering who exactly was meant by "those people". i don't condone criminal behavior, but we're all God's children who have messed up pretty bad, aren't we? needless to say, it's been kind of weird to drive distances (to and from work) without any music...probably a needed break from noise.
i don't think anyone really reads these posts...that's what i get for ceasing xanga activity for a ridiculous period of time. but i don't mind...i have kitties now to fill the lonely void...just kidding (: but the kitties are indeed good company, since my roommate is out of town for the week. talk to ya'll later.
~bethany | | |
| everybody goes through crap. sometimes life is just crap. some people cope with the crap by pretending its not there. i've certainly done this before myself, and i know some people who basically make a lifestyle out of this coping mechanism. it bums me out when i'm around them, because, due to avoidance, they end up not processing at least half their life (the negative half), and come across as kind of shallow: "what? you want to talk about that?...well, i don't know, i've never really thought about it...want a beer?"...it's scary to acknowledge that life has meaning, because then it inevitably hurts like hell. sometimes i still try to pretend like stuff doesn't hurt or isn't meaningful just to escape difficulty.
some peoples' coping mechanism involves "getting everything out there". the problems of life are outwardly and visibly acknowledged, processing happens pretty regularly, and everything honestly just sucks. like many of the passages in psalms and the minor prophets...i've definitely done this as well.
however, you know what i really enjoy? the times when things are in utter chaos, the bitchiness of life is completely and fully acknowledged, but i'm able to have a ridiculously good time in the midst of the crisis. this happened this past weekend...i wasn't so much going through a hard time as was one of my good friends...her life's pretty rough right now. we talked about stuff and cried and prayed for a while, and then somehow ended up laughing, pillow fighting, and being completely and recklessly goofy for a few hours. none of the crap had disappeared, in fact, it probably won't for a very long time. but this was a situation where life was messy, we were openly messy, gloriously messy...there was hard laughter...the kind that only comes out of times when you're falling apart--just aren't able to laugh as hard at any other time...
i saw 'rent' tonight at the ordway theater in st. paul...it was really good. the music was fantastic, and the story was provocative (in more than one way). i enjoyed it quite a bit.
keepin' it real...
~b | | |
| i need an oil change, real bad. and i honestly haven't balanced my checkbook in months and months. and i thought about quitting my job today and just taking off for glacier for the remainder of the summer... ::sigh::
can i call myself a cooler word than 'irresponsible'?
p.s. if anyone reads this, you need to suggest a kitten name, because we're getting a cute little calico in 2 days...it's a girl (i think all calicos are, aren't they?)
wouldn't it be cool if there were calico people, too?
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